Theories on Life: Look Out for Number One

A selfish statement at the surface, mostly spoken in the negative sense. “Look out for number one, because nobody else will.” It’s a difficult and dark way to look at things, to think that no one is there for you, to help you in your time of need, or to pick you up when you fall. It’s a harsh reality that most people live in. Yes, we have family, we have friends, but we’ve all been disappointed by someone at some point in our life. That is if we are lucky enough to have had someone in the first place. But the statement “look out for number one” says much more than “people suck”, it can be a superpower for good if you can get there.

Something bad happens to you, and there, in your moment of need, no one is there to help. Disappointment. Broken friendships. Broken families. Broken hearts. “You better look out for number one because if you don’t, no one will do it for you.” It is one of the most tragic dichotomies of life. It is difficult to find contentment in life if you do not give yourself to someone—trust someone. But how do you marry that reality with making sure you are safe? It’s a difficult balance but there is a way.

It is difficult to find contentment in life if you do not give yourself to someone.

You just need to look at things a bit differently. It goes something like this. “If you don’t look after number one, then you cannot look after anyone else.” It’s giving yourself permission to be strong. To take time for yourself. To exercise. To read. Watch a movie. Work hard. Focus on yourself. Because that way, you can remain strong for others.

Too often people sacrifice themselves so much that when the shit really hits the fan, there is nothing left. Sometimes people use the needs of others, or even just the perceived needs of others, to take the focus off themselves. The classic full circle of constantly doing for others, then complaining about how crappy their life is because they have been so focused on everybody else. Where is the personal responsibility?

I don’t mean to diminish self-sacrifice. It’s the noblest of actions, to sacrifice yourself for others. But true self-sacrifice comes with the responsibility to remain strong enough to continue being there. Strong mentally. Strong physically. That means you need to look after yourself and feel good about looking after yourself. And that is the permission, if you will, to take the time you need to look after your physical and mental health without guilt. Because if you don’t do it, when you’re really needed, you won’t be there. The act of spending all your time looking after others without spending time on you, whether it is true sacrifice, or just a way to take the attention off yourself, is like driving a car without maintaining it. Sooner or later, it will leave you stranded.

If you want to have financial success, you must work hard.

There you have it. The permission to excel. To have a good life. To look after yourself, and to benefit others around you in doing so. If you want to have financial success, you must work hard. That requires focus. It occasionally requires extra time. It certainly requires dedication. If you want to live a long and healthy life, you need to exercise. Eat well. That takes time too. If you want to give yourself the best chance at mental health, that means you need to spend time doing things you love, that you have passion about and you care about, which includes others if you’re lucky.

In the end you need to look out for number one because if you don’t… you cannot look after anyone else. That is the harsh reality. So put away the excuses, the self-sacrifice, the “poor me’s”, and step up and take responsibility for yourself and then maybe, just maybe, you will be there when someone really needs you instead of wallowing in the corner or six feet underground. Good luck.