"Theories on Life: Your Negativity Is Not a Result of Your Circumstance"
There are two absolute truths in this life that if you know, believe and understand, are the first steps in achieving your goals, living a healthier life, and quite possibly in creating a path to greater contentment and happiness. Understanding the nature and outcomes of responsibility and negativity are the first step in the journey towards a happier, healthier and more productive life.
There are those people that are just negative. Negative almost all the time. Glass isn't even half full, it’s almost empty- even if it’s almost full. Give them a sunny day in the park or on the beach and they will complain about how busy it is, how dirty it is or how the kids won’t listen. Whatever the circumstances may be, they will find the darkness in the sunshine.
There are also those people, quite often the same people, for whom nothing is their fault. They failed because they never got the opportunity. Their life is bad for one reason or another. Whatever the reason, it's not them. It’s something or somebody else's fault.
I understand that there is adversity in life. There are things that are just out of our control. Where you're born. The family you’re born into. Health challenges. Let’s face it, if you're born in a war zone or poverty stricken area, the cards are already stacked against you. But believe it or not, it does not change the two absolute truths that can shape your life. After all, life is all about shaping the things you can control, not the things you cannot.
Here's the thing, what is it that is important to you? Is it your future or your past? Is it staying in the same place physically and mentally or is it improving? Is it being happy and content, or sad and bitter? These are pretty simple questions with obvious answers.
Let’s look at negativity. What exactly is negativity? The argument from a negative person is always, I just call it as I see it. I’m just speaking the truth. Fair enough. But here is the reality that people like that struggle with, and it’s an absolute truth. Your negativity is not a result of your circumstance. That’s a lie. Your circumstance is a result of your negativity.
The lens by which you look at things is your reality. Not only that, you also have the power to impact other people. Thus your negativity is not only creating life circumstances that are negative for you, but quite often for the people around you. Not only are you creating a reality for your life that is negative, but you are also doing that to those in your circle. People at work. Family at home. Friends. Hopefully it’s only when you're around, but sometimes, it can be damaging and life altering.
The second absolute truth: You are personally responsible for everything you do, and everything that happens to you. Think about it. Blaming is just a way to avoid responsibility. Complaining is just a reason not to take action.
So many people get caught up in the why something happened, who’s fault something is. The blame game. Here’s the reality, blaming someone or something for your struggles is usually just a way to not take the personal responsibility for change. Because change is hard.
I fail at work because, ‘fill in the blank’. I am overweight because ‘fill in the blank’. My relationships are bad because… My life is bad because… The point isn’t that you can always overcome everything. The point is not to look for external factors for your failures, unless it’s to facilitate change, because reasons are just excuses if you don’t learn from them and effect change. I failed because ‘I’ failed. That’s it. I’m overweight because I have consumed too many calories. My relationships are bad because either I picked my relationships poorly, or I’m making them bad.
Here is where it all comes together with two simple but absolute truths. Taking responsibility for everything you do, and everything that happens to you, allows you to learn from mistakes, and move forward. Placing blame and complaining only creates a negative environment for yourself and those around you, and is only a way to avoid being responsible, to avoid taking action, to avoid moving forward. Taking and accepting responsibility for your life circumstances allows you to focus on moving forward in a positive light rather than getting stuck in the darkness.
It all boils down to one thing. Use real life events and circumstances to make good decisions about your reality, and look for the positive as much as you can. Blame, negativity, and excuses, however justified, don’t bring contentment or happiness into your life or anyone else's around you. Accepting responsibility and staying positive is what will.
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