"Theories on Life: What Integrity Really Means."
"You must have integrity" they say… and they’re right! "They" just don’t really know what it means. When most people talk about integrity, it’s in the "holier than thou" sense. What they really mean is, you should be a good person. Be honest. Maybe even a good leader. And maybe you should, but none of those have anything to do with true integrity, at least the kind I’m talking about. Integrity is about strength. Internal strength. To be strong, you need integrity and believe it or not, it has nothing to do with good or bad. It’s just about knowing who you are and living that way.
When you think about a structure. Perhaps a building or a bridge. Integrity relates to how strong it is. How much the structure can withstand from an outside force and remain intact. A person is like a building in many ways. The foundation of a building is the core of its strength. If the foundation is weak, it doesn’t matter how great the building looks, how strong the exterior is, or how much time you spent building it. A strong enough force acting against it will cause it to fall. The opposite is also true. The more time and energy you invest in a solid foundation, the more it can withstand.
Human beings are just like that. You may think this is just about the foundation during childhood but it’s not. It’s the rules for life we set upon ourselves. Non-negotiable rules. I don’t steal. I don’t cheat. I don’t lie. I work hard. I eat healthy. I exercise. Whatever your core beliefs tell you are the best way to live your life. For me, I don’t steal because I don’t want to get caught. It’s not because a good book tells me not to steal. Getting caught stealing would be more harmful to me in many ways than whatever benefit I may gain from getting away with it, whatever it is. I don’t cheat for the same reason. I don’t lie because the truth is safer. It’s not complicated. People think they will get away with lies but they never do. Other people just don’t bother calling them on it, because it’s too much trouble. I work hard because I desire success and enjoy the feeling of completing tasks. I eat healthy because I want to live longer, for myself and my family. I exercise for the same reason.
And that’s where it all comes together. It’s knowing the rules you wish to live by and knowing why. Understanding yourself. Understanding what’s important to you. Really important. Then making decisions based on that. Those are the foundational elements of your life. The way you make decisions. Decisions when times are good. Decisions when times are tough. Decisions that won’t come back to destroy you, or worse, someone you care about.
It’s entirely possible, if not reasonable, that you don’t really care if you get caught in a lie. I’ve met very capable liars. Always seem to get away with stuff, if not actually get ahead by lying. They wouldn’t get anywhere with me, but they get ahead, and have no real care or conscience about it. They lie because in their mind, it’s worth it. That’s a core belief. A way of making decisions. Thus, you can have integrity and be a liar, a cheater, a thief or worse, if you really believe that the rewards outweigh the consequences. It’s not a good or bad thing. Not a value statement. It’s that you have based your decisions on your foundational belief system. Now, if you have a conscience, and you care about the people around you, then acting with integrity requires consideration of the consequences they will bear. Because it impacts you, because you care. It’s complicated.
Once you have created those foundational elements in your life. Those rules by which you make decisions. Rules that apply to you because you decided, not someone else. Then you can use those guidelines to make decisions in your life. That’s integrity. Knowing and understanding yourself. Knowing what’s important to you and making decisions that get you there and keep you there. My relationship is important, so I don’t cheat. Success is important so I work hard. Greater success is important, so I occasionally take risks. I don’t steal because I don’t want to lose what I have. Friends. Freedom. Reputation. Big decisions and small decisions every day. Decisions made in one way; is this the right decision based on what I believe?
Having a core belief system that is foundational to how you make decisions is integrity. Internal strength. Once you have that, you will set in motion the building of a quality life. You will make less mistakes. You will still make mistakes, everybody does, and they will build and reinforce your core beliefs moving forward. But you will make less and less over time. When something bad happens to you, you will have greater strength to understand it, and withstand it. Best of all, you may find contentment in knowing that in most circumstances you have done what you believe was the right thing to do. That, in and of itself, is a powerful foundational element to a quality life. Free of guilt, free of fear and full of contentment. Good luck.
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